SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE
As women, we have a lot going on. Not only what is seen on the surface, but also in the “invisible work” or things that we are constantly managing (ie. the 1,800 tabs we have open in our minds running in the background daily.)
While I am so for organizing and labeling the items in your pantry, de-cluttering your closet, and hitting a major spring clean, there is one practice that you can do that will instantly shut down all of that background “clutter”, and organize your life. This practice takes only 30 seconds and I’ve broken it down into just 3 simple steps.
Monitor The “Background Chatter”.
This practice requires a little mindfulness. Being present. It doesn’t require any meditation or even a quiet space. It has less to do with your external environment, and everything to do with the one thing you can control. Your thoughts and how you respond to them - that “inner” conversation. You’ve heard it before:
“Oh I spilled something on my shirt, I need to go put stain remover on it.” As you head to the laundry room you recall being low on detergent and decide to put it on the list. This reminds you that you’re also out of sandwich bread for your daughter’s lunch and you wonder if there’s enough for breakfast in the morning. You may need to stop at the store on the way home from soccer. This triggers into a series of intrusive and externally led thoughts on your daughter’s project that’s almost due, your own work that’s due at work, and then as you enter the laundry room finally you see that the kids left their soccer uniforms on the floor. You go to bring them into their rooms and issue a lecture when you’re distracted by the —-
You get the picture. Your thoughts may never end! Leaving you zero space for yourself.
Shut them down by naming them.
This voice running in the background feels like yours, but it isn’t. Don’t believe me? Have you ever had a second voice arguing with that first voice? That one is yours.
The first voice runs on auto-pilot. It brings up potential problems, stressors, and to-do’s and warns you before you get into trouble. Unfortunately, that also means that this voice also tends to be more on the negative side.
Like most alarms, your nervous system sometimes sounds when unnecessary, or “just in case” danger manifests. That means that it often goes off when there is no actual danger.
That’s where you win. The second voice is an opportunity. This is the one we can strengthen to take over and become predominant. This voice can be utilized to help you return to the present moment, and clear out some of those intrusive thoughts.
Just like you have to clear your computer of viruses, duplicate files taking up storage, and trash, it is also important to do an inventory and clean up the “junk files” within your mind.
Some of your thoughts are not your own (ie. what would my mother think- I need to make sure this room is perfectly clean!), and some thoughts are from old limiting beliefs that likely no longer serve you. (ie. A fear of trying new things that may just stem from you getting hurt or failing as a child but is now holding you back from great opportunities.)
Quickly Drive Them Out With One Simple Tool
The mind triggers on questions! Use this to your advantage.
A clear way to de-clutter your life is to start filtering those excess thoughts by asking that voice some questions. Below are some examples:
Is that really true?
Is that still true?
Is this fear rooted in wisdom or in fear?
Does this thought or the belief behind it still serve me?
*** If you still feel cluttered, take 30 seconds to draw in a deep breath, allowing your exhale to clear your thoughts like rain clouds rolling away with the wind. Practice relaxing your physical body while exhaling as well.***
Check in:
Is your jaw tight or relaxed?
Is your tongue glued to the roof of your mouth? (A stress response")
Can you roll your shoulders back to relax them a little more on the next exhale?
AAre your hands closed and tight, or open and relaxed?
Enjoy The Space
Once you have taken an inventory of your mind and body, you can start to be present. Notice with some of your 5 senses what you are experiencing. 5 years from now, if you were remembering this moment, what would stand out to you?
The smell of the Tahitian candle you keep in the kitchen, the sound of your fan slightly squeaking, how your partner’s eyes crease when they smile across from you? Notice How soft your slippers feel under your feet, if your spine feels stressed because of your posture, if you feel overly full or sleepy.
The most important piece from this practice: Having that second voice enter the equation from a place of curiosity, seeking to understand and learn. Rather than judging yourself, your thoughts, and your body with the criticism of a harsh principal, seek to understand as a child would.
